Tuesday, 29 January 2013

Noah's Ark _2013

This story is true in Australia for most people wanting to do 'something'.  It's a bit long but I sure got a laugh out of it.

from Wikipedia (the Photo)

Noah Today

In the year 2013 the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in England and said:
“Once again the earth has become wicked and over populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me”.

“Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans”.
He gave Noah the blue prints saying, “You have 6 months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights”.

6 months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard – but no Ark.
“Noah”, he roared.  “I’m about to start the rain, where is the Ark?”.
“Forgive me Lord”, begged Noah, “but things have changed”.

I needed a building permit.
I have been arguing with boat inspector about the need for a sprinkler system.
My neighbours claim that I have violated the neighbourhood bylaws, by building the Ark in my back garden and exceeding the height limitations.
We had to go to the local planning committee for a decision.
Then the local council and the electricity company demanded a shed load of money for the future cost of moving power lines, and other over head obstructions to clear the passage for the Ark’s move to the sea.
I told them that sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it.

Getting the wood was another problem.
There is a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the Greater Spotted Barn Owl.
I tried to convince the environmentalist that I needed the wood to save the owls – but no go.

When I started gathering the animals, the RSPCA took me to court.
They insisted that I was confining wild animals again their will.
They argued the accommodation was too restrictive and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.

Then environmental agency ruled that I couldn’t build the Ark until they had conducted an environmental impact study on the proposed flood.

I am still trying to resolve the complaint with the human rights commission on how many minorities I’m supposed to hire for my building crews.
Immigration are checking the Visa status of most of the people that want to work.
The trade unions say I can’t use my sons.  They insist that I have to hire only union workers with Ark building experience.

To make matters worse the Inland Revenue seized all my assets claiming I’m trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species.

So forgive me Lord but it would take at least 10 years to finish the Ark.

Suddenly the skies cleared and the sun began to shine and a rainbow stretched across the sky.

Noah looked up in wonder and asked, “You mean you are not going to destroy the world?”
“No, said the Lord, the Government beat me to it”....


  1. Hello:
    This is indeed an amusing tale and would be really, really funny if it were not so horribly true to life. We have to say, though, the comparisons between Budapest and Brighton where we divide our time is fascinating. Whereas the UK seems to follow every rule to come out of some Brussels bureaucrat, Hungary pays scant if any attention.So, we suspect that every country could have its own very individual Ark saga!!!

    1. Well you would both know about other countries, their rules & regulations.

  2. Oh my, there's so much truth in this, it's frightening! Poor Noah would have encountered many of the same problems (& others) here in North America as well.

  3. Today - we, or should I say those in charge have certainly made rods for our backs and strewn our paths with difficulties and obstacles.

    1. They sure have, and I wonder about the future as to how far it will all go.

  4. it's funny because it's true. thanks for the morning chuckle :)