from Wikipedia (the Photo)
Noah Today
In the year 2013 the Lord came unto Noah, who was now
living in England and said:
“Once again the earth has become wicked and over
populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me”.
“Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along
with a few good humans”.
He gave Noah the blue prints saying, “You have 6 months
to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40
nights”.
6 months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping
in his yard – but no Ark.
“Noah”, he roared. “I’m about to start the rain, where is the
Ark?”.
“Forgive me Lord”, begged Noah, “but things have changed”.
I needed a building permit.
I have been arguing with boat inspector about the need
for a sprinkler system.
My neighbours claim that I have violated the
neighbourhood bylaws, by building the Ark in my back garden and exceeding the
height limitations.
We had to go to the local planning committee for a
decision.
Then the local council and the electricity company
demanded a shed load of money for the future cost of moving power lines, and
other over head obstructions to clear the passage for the Ark’s move to the
sea.
I told them that sea would be coming to us, but they
would hear nothing of it.
Getting the wood was another problem.
There is a ban on cutting local trees in order to save
the Greater Spotted Barn Owl.
I tried to convince the environmentalist that I needed
the wood to save the owls – but no go.
When I started gathering the animals, the RSPCA took me
to court.
They insisted that I was confining wild animals again
their will.
They argued the accommodation was too restrictive and it
was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.
Then environmental agency ruled that I couldn’t build the
Ark until they had conducted an environmental impact study on the proposed
flood.
I am still trying to resolve the complaint with the human
rights commission on how many minorities I’m supposed to hire for my building crews.
Immigration are checking the Visa status of most of the
people that want to work.
The trade unions say I can’t use my sons. They insist that I have to hire only union
workers with Ark building experience.
To make matters worse the Inland Revenue seized all my
assets claiming I’m trying to leave the country illegally with endangered
species.
So forgive me Lord but it would take at least 10 years to
finish the Ark.
Suddenly the skies cleared and the sun began to shine and
a rainbow stretched across the sky.
Noah looked up in wonder and asked, “You mean you are not
going to destroy the world?”
“No, said the Lord, the Government beat me to it”....
Hello:
ReplyDeleteThis is indeed an amusing tale and would be really, really funny if it were not so horribly true to life. We have to say, though, the comparisons between Budapest and Brighton where we divide our time is fascinating. Whereas the UK seems to follow every rule to come out of some Brussels bureaucrat, Hungary pays scant if any attention.So, we suspect that every country could have its own very individual Ark saga!!!
Well you would both know about other countries, their rules & regulations.
DeleteLOL!!!
ReplyDeleteGlad it gave you a laugh Beth :)
DeleteOh my, there's so much truth in this, it's frightening! Poor Noah would have encountered many of the same problems (& others) here in North America as well.
ReplyDeleteSeems most of the world is the same.
DeleteToday - we, or should I say those in charge have certainly made rods for our backs and strewn our paths with difficulties and obstacles.
ReplyDeleteThey sure have, and I wonder about the future as to how far it will all go.
Deleteit's funny because it's true. thanks for the morning chuckle :)
ReplyDeleteI found it funny and very true.
Delete